Smoking Relieves Your Stress?
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by: PatrickGlancy
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I've worked with a lot of people to quit smoking. In doing this, I have heard all kinds of reasons that it might be better if they kept smoking.
I've been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel "better". (I always ask "better than what"?)
I know you don't really believe these reasons, or why would you be trying to stop smoking. Still, a part of you DOES believe these reasons.
A part of you MUST believe your reasons or you would have quit smoking by now. Now may be a good time to know there are no laws that say your reason to keep smoking has to make sense. They rarely do.
In fact, 99% of the reasons you continue can easily be proven incorrect. Maybe smoking keeps you from blowing up and yelling at your spouse because you're mouth is full of smoke, or even better, you have to go outside to smoke.
Even when you know the reason doesn't make sense that knowledge doesn't always help you stop. It might just add to your frustration in the struggle to stop. Just one more reason to stop that doesn't out-weigh the craving to continue.
There are two important sides to this. The feeling that smoking will make you feel better and, the feeling you want to feel better than. That's what needs to be changed.
If you're too hot, you look for ways to cool off. If you're leg hurts you look for pain relief. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever...) you look to feel good. If you have held the belief that smoking makes you feel good, that's where your mind takes you.
This feeling to do something is what you probably call a craving. Many smokers have more than one type of craving going on. The 'after you wake up' craving might feel different than the 'after a meal' craving. The same principles apply.
SO, how do you change these things? I can write on and on about this (and I have on my web site) It will come down to changing the feelings, motivations and beliefs involved.
First, the 'bad feeling' side of things needs to be addressed. If it's too much stress, get it managed, if it's a situation that makes you lonely, do what you can to fix it, or look for help.
Second, the 'looking to feel better' side of things needs to be updated. (it's common that this is about mistaken beliefs, formed when young, that smoking is about being an adult, in control, strong willed, independent, etc...) Of course, a cigarette is only leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling is the emotions your mind has attached to this action. It could just as easily be ice cream or cookies that your mind has attached good feelings with.
And that's the trick. Quit smoking is mainly about modifying behavior. That's why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with the medication.
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